Using emotional intelligence to increase influence, fulfilment and success
Emotional intelligence (El) is taking information from your own emotions and the emotions of others and then applying that knowledge in order to be more successful.
One of its key strengths is enabling us to sense and use emotions in order to manage situations better, improve decision-making and achieve positive outcomes. By recognizing, understanding and dealing with both our own emotions and those of others, we are more likely to be successful.
Developing emotional intelligence
We are all subject to emotions pulling us in directions that may or not be the best course of action. EI seeks to improve how we respond to emotions to get the most out of ourselves and others.
In Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than I0, psychologist Daniel Goleman details five emotional competencies. These are essential to managing ourselves and to leading people successfully:
1. Knowing your emotions – self-awareness
2. Managing emotions
3. Motivating yourself and others
4. Recognizing emotions in others and showing empathy
5. Handling relationships and staying connected.
The competency hierarchy
These emotional competencies are labelled 1-5 because they build on one another in a hierarchy. For example, we need to be able to identify our own emotional state (competency 1) if we are to manage our emotions (competency 2). Similarly, we need to achieve the first three competencies if we are to use empathy (competency 4) to influence others positively. Finally, the first four competencies are needed to maintain good, successful and productive relationships (competency 5). Each of these emotional competencies are described below.
1. Knowing your emotions — self-awareness
Previous emotional experiences influence our decision-making so it is important to be aware of all our emotions if we are to avoid any negative cycles and, instead, make better decisions.
2. Managing emotions
Once we can recognize these emotions, we can use this knowledge and develop strategies and responses to manage our emotions. This is true of the three main triggers to potentially negative outcomes: anger, anxiety and sadness. This is why El is important during times of change.
3. Motivating yourself and others
It is not enough to know that you should create a supportive, enthusiastic environment; you have to know how to. In order to motivate others, we must understand individuals properly and use this information to achieve our aims. This involves being sensitive to what affects a person’s enthusiasm and then providing the right approach.
4. Recognizing emotions in others and showing empathy
To influence others and gain their trust and commitment, it is essential to understand a person’s emotions and then respond appropriately.
5. Handling relationships and staying connected
Whenever we relate to someone, there is an emotional transaction that passes between individuals. These interactions have an effect: they make us feel better or worse. This creates a secret economy that is the key to motivating people – a key that we can use to develop better relationships.