Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to feel good, to do good things. The act of doing what needs to be done regardless of how you feel can produce a higher self worth, therefore making you feel good. There’s really no need to say affirmations or psyche yourself up in order for you to start working on your goals. Rather than fighting how you feel, you can work on your goals anyway, and how you feel will change as a result of achieving your goals.
As Leonardo daVinci put it “one can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself”. The greatest achievers are able to do what must be done regardless of how one feels, whether they are feeling enthusiastic or feeling down. Being a person with self control will give you all the confidence and rewards you will ever need. If the rewards or the confidence in yourself isn’t there that day, you can still get the job done as a master.
In order to do everything well with full attention we need to understand our feelings. We cannot control our feelings directly by the will. So don’t try to control your feelings forcefully. Feelings must be accepted and recognized as they are. Every feeling, no matter how unpleasant, has its uses. Usually when you have painful feelings, it’s pointing you to a direction that may need some adjustments or attention. Time makes feelings go away, unless you keep reinforcing those feelings. As they say time heals all wounds, but when you keep on telling the same painful stories, you keep the feelings within time. Same as if you had happy experiences and you relive them in your mind within time, you will have more joy. Behavior has a direct influence on your feelings. Since our behavior is controllable and our feelings are not, the more you control your actions, the more you’ll feel better about yourself.
You are in peace when you give yourself away most of the time. You are in misery when you are self-focused. Always worrying about getting your share and evaluating people in terms of how they affect you. As Khalil Gibran said “You give little when you give your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give”. How can you give more today, to your loved ones, family members, colleagues, the community, your country or even to the world?
Know that only your behavior can change your reality. Your thoughts or emotions cannot change what is. To change reality, we need to recognize what’s going on in our reality right now without wishing it was something else. That wishing of things to be different can only brings stress. The acceptance that things are at this moment will bring peace. Although it’s very important to have dreams and visions of how we want things to be, only our actions change the future. A ten thousand mile journey starts with one step, not by sitting down and thinking about it.
Quite possibly the biggest problem these days is people visualize too much but don’t take enough action. They sit down for hours each week but attend to every distraction that takes them away from their goals. After they’re distracted through action, they neutralize what they dream of by being afraid they won’t be able to reach their goals. So this is why it’s good to accept your current reality as it is, rather then ignore it and pretend that you’re living a fantasy life. Of course everything starts with a thought. You need to imagine, plan and have faith you’ll achieve what you want. Action is what’s needed for the first step, and action is what’s needed for the last step. Action gets everything done.
When you just lay down on your couch, stare at the wall, slouched over, don’t you feel depressed? This is an example of how our behavior controls our emotions. A simple act of changing our posture can make us feel confident right away. Try taking a deep breath, stick your chest out, shoulders back and smile. Don’t you feel better? Better yet, try finishing something you been postponing for whatever reason. Do what needs to be done now and you’ll really feel better.
Most people postpone what needs to be done because of fear. Not being afraid of anything is actually a sign of stupidity. Fear is really a healthy emotion, and that’s why we have it. It helps us to be cautious and sends an alarm out that something isn’t right. If the fire alarm goes on, it means there’s a fire and you need to get out of the building or house to save your life and save other people’s lives also if you can. If you feel fear or pain, it means you need to get out of that emotion. The problem is people think they need to be fearless, but what they really need to do is be aware of what they fear and have the courage to face that fear.
Mastery of your life is a slow, painful and full of effort process. It takes self discipline, honesty, patience, focus and consistency. You’ll need to face your fears and all of your feelings that are joyous or awful. You should know your purpose, the great purposes and the every day purposes to help guide your behavior no matter what pain you’ll feel while creating the life you desire. When you strive hard but fail, you don’t really suffer; you become more triumphant when you stand up.