When it comes to our minds, we actually observe over 2 million bits of information. But we ignore most of it and only focus on about 138 bits. This means that we only learn or observe what we focus on. The same way that a stockbroker, fisherman and bodybuilder focuses on different things and live different lives and have different personalities. Having money depends on what you focus on if you focus on wealth or poverty.
In NLP they say that we delete distort and generalize information due to what we focus on. By changing your focus, you instantly change your world. Changing your financial destiny is due to the change of focus. Depending on what we read, learn, watch or experience we become. Like when a mechanic sees a car, it listens for the engine. When a lady sees a car, usually she likes how it looks.
We can have whatever we want as long as we focus on what we want in life. Our mind is made up of pictures, sounds, tastes, smells and self-talk. These are what brings our minds to some sort of focus. We might focus on a picture, music, a smell, and talk to ourselves and each of these brings some sort of emotion. But what we observe and our perception is not really reality; it is only a map of reality. It is only our view. We don’t see things as they really are we see things as we want to see them.
When it comes to results, your behaviour is what you have to work with. It is not just what you say or thinks or feel. It is what you do. The good part is that we are not our behaviour. Our behaviour is the cause. Now one question that we should ask ourselves is, are we the cause or the effect in our lives? It is way better to be the cause; it is more honourable. In reality, we really are the cause of all the things that come into our lives. Once you know this, you can start making the changes you want to make and get the results you want. You don’t want to go to your grave with a whole bunch of reasons why you didn’t get what you want. You want to go to your grave with a bunch of results.
One way to get what you want is to act as if. Act as if you are rich and eventually you will be rich. Act as if you are brave and you will be brave. If you chose to believe, you create everything, including your personality, you get the results you want. Once you know that you are actually the creator of your personality from being brave to being hard-working or lazy, you will be in total control in your life and start getting the results you want.
Some things they teach in NLP is Everything is your responsibility, and nothing is your fault. It takes the pressure out when you think this. Another thing is I am the cause of all the effects in my life. Perception is projection means you can’t see anything outside of you that isn’t you. Like if you call someone “Lazy bum” Maybe, there is something inside of you that makes you feel like a lazy bum. Or if you see some rich people and notice they are rich, maybe there is something inside of you that is rich. So all in all anything you complain about or are afraid of is something that is part of you. Like getting ripped off. You might be afraid to get ripped off from your mechanic because you’re thinking “If I was him, I would rip people off.” So just learn to trust and change that part of your personality. This is the meaning of you only see what is inside of you.
We must all respect the other person’s model of the world. It means that everyone has a different point of view and different personalities. Imagine how complicated your mind is? How could you ever really know what someone else is thinking? You’re still trying to figure out what you’re thinking, how would you be sure you know what other people are thinking? So respect that you both are looking at the world in different eyes and brains. In order to effectively communicate with someone, you have to know the model of the world they have.
When you change behaviour, you should evaluate the context wither it is good or bad, positive or negative. When someone has resistance to you, it means you haven’t built enough rapport. People are not their behaviours, and so you must accept that. If you don’t like the behaviour of your own, you can accept yourself and change your behaviour.
Think that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have, including you. It gives a sense of forgiveness. For example: thinking that other people could have done better. It is not good to think that because it is judgmental, even to yourself. The most important information about another person is their behaviour, not just words. It is what they do that shows who they are.
Your thoughts about reality are not reality; it is the menu and not the meal. Realistically you are the one in charge so “Whos’s driving the bus?” as one of the founders of NLP have said before. People have all the resources they need to succeed, and all procedures should increase wholeness. Sometimes we have parts of each other that conflict, like part, wants money and the other part doesn’t, and one part wants to be healthy, but the other part doesn’t want to work out. It is important to integrate these parts and have congruency or harmony.
The belief that there is no failure and only feedback is the breakfast of champions. It makes you see the results and then adjust your behaviour. It means you can see what you did right or wrong and then adjust your behaviour to do better and to get the results you want. The meaning of communication is the response you get. And the person who is most flexible with there behaviour wins.